more for parents

Questions you may have
Do's and don'ts
Where to get help for your child
Where to get help for yourself

Questions you may have

1. Is my child trying to kill themselves?
No, although it is a risk. Self harmers are not trying to commit suicide: they are trying to find a way to cope with their emotions and situation, and harming themselves is one way of doing that.

2. Is my child mentally ill?
In some cases there is a mental illness underlying their harming but, for most, self harm is a way of coping.

3. Is it my fault?
Not at all. In some cases there may have been times when actions and responses may not have helped, but it isn't your fault, nor is it theirs.

4. Why are they self harming?
People harm as a way of coping with overwhelming situations or feelings. Harming is therefore often a sign of other difficulties. This is why a self harmer needs help with these situations or feelings as well as their harming behaviour.

5. What signs should I look for as to whether my child is harming?
Seeming overwhelmed, being withdrawn or isolated, secretive behaviour and wanting privacy could all be a warning. You may notice marks on arms or legs, or find evidence of harming, like hidden razors or blades, around the house.

Do's and don'ts

Where to get help for your child

Visiting your GP is the first point of call: they will assess if any medication will help and may decide to make a referral to psychiatric or mental health support.

For example, your doctor may refer the young person to CAMH (The NHS Child and Adolescent Mental Health Unit), who may offer appropriate support like art therapy, counseling or family therapy It is also possible for other agencies and organisations like schools, Connexions, or LCET to make a referral to CAMH.

If you child is taken to a hospital accident and emergency department because they have self harmed, they will normally be offered the opportunity to see a member of on-call psychiatric staff.

LCET run small groups for 4-6 teenagers where you can talk openly about self harm and whatever else is on their mind. These groups also offer an opportunity to meet other self harmers in Luton and access information. The groups run in secondary schools around Luton. To get a referral to LCET simply fill a referral form by contacting us by telephone or email.

Where to get help for yourself

Although we know there is a huge need for this kind of support, we are not aware of any groups meeting locally in the Luton areas. If you know of any please email us and we'll update this section. LCET are exploring possible new projects in this area in the near future.